You need help to avoid a divorce. You are very sad even the thought of divorce. You are trying to see what are the ways to avoid a divorce. These tips are from a heart – a heart feel sad to see people in love get separated for wrong reasons and in an impulse.
Divorce seems necessary when people feel like there is nothing left between them. Both of them may think separating is the best they can do. But you will never ever replace a person in your life. I saw many divorced people- they have very hard time. Often, living alone is hard for human beings. If anyone thinks that living alone is freedom and easy, they are so wrong.
Finding the right person to marry is hard- when you have that person in your life and live many years, you are fortunate. That life is precious. It is not so easy to live with people because everyone is unique. You can live with people only if there is love.
If you are thinking of divorce, ask someone who is divorced- how his or her life is. Did they ever want to give a chance to their partner? Did they regret for their decision? Please do some research.
You knew each other so well when you got married. You loved each other so much. You enjoyed each and every moment of life at that time. What went wrong? You don’t have to tell anyone- but before taking any decision, you both have to make sure that you will never regret for your decision. You both don’t know how loneliness will be when you will separate. If you are living with kids, you will not realize that loneliness. If you are thinking of separation-you have to know how that life will be afterward. Go and live separately. Don’t see each other for few weeks- no calls, no emails…no contact at all. See how you are managing. The point is, you have to realize what that complete loss is. Please don’t take a hasty decision. Try these things.
When you live separate without seeing each other, write these answers with your heart. If you don’t like to write, write the points to discuss.
– Write all the things, which made you angry at each other – how you felt about it?
– What you don’t like in other person- why?
– Did you feel respected? Why? Did you respect the other? Why?
– Did you feel-other didn’t have time for you? Why? Did you have time for the other?
– Did you feel that you gave your time to your partner?
– Did you have time to talk everyday?
– What is the priority in your life?
– Remember when you met first- how much time you spent for each other-how much later in your life? Why each year was different? When kids came, did you spend time for each other?
– Write all your sweet memories from past.
– What you like most in the other person?
– What your partner like most? Favorite dishes? Favorite things to do? Did you try to do that?
– How you will say your life was with your partner for all these years? Is there anything you want to change? What is it and how you want it to be changed-from your side too?
– How you feel living alone? Do you like it?
– See the old pictures-remember the love you shared-remember the fun you had-remember the quarrels-remember how much you helped each other-look into your heart-…. now picture your partner- write what you feel about him or her? Do you love him or her?
Give your notes to each other at the end of the last month. If you want, go out on a date and talk about it.
The most important factor to keep a married life is ‘COMMUNICATION’. It is finding time to talk – small things-what happened…what do you feel-your worries…etc. Your husband/wife should be your best friend. For any couple, if they cannot find time to talk every day, their marriage will not be in the right path. If they give priority to anything else other than their partner, that is something which should be changed. Even kids should come after their partner.
The essence of love is forgiveness. If we don’t have that, there is no love. You both loved each other so much. During the years, something else was taken priority. Find out that with causes. If there is a mistake, try to correct it. Forgive and give one more chance. Stubbornness will give only pain and tears. Forgiveness comes from noble hearts, and it brings love back in life. If you feel there is no more love left, that is very wrong. You can renew your relationship all together as a new one. Don’t look others for what they do; look into your heart. There is so much love in both of you. Give a chance to each other and your kids.
Then only- you should take your decision. Do whatever makes you happy.
But remember, the best gift you can give to your kids is a family- A loving Dad and Mom loving each other!