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What is marriage? What is the significance of marriage?

26 Jan

Marriage is accepted as a custom in all cultures, religions, and countries. There are different rituals in different cultures. In different religions, with different ceremonies, it is treated as sacred. In most countries, it is a socially accepted custom with regulations. When time goes on, when individualism increases, it is a question, at least for some people- why marriage? Why it is needed- what is the significance?  Why not live together…what is the difference?

Do we need to own a house to live? It is not that necessary. People can live in streets, shelters, or rental places. But owning a house provides a sense of belonging, security and self esteem for a person. It gives a structure and shape in the community and regions. When we look marriage in the same way like owning a house, is that necessary? Not really- two individuals can live together without a marriage too. Why to marry? Marriage is commitment and acceptance to each other and it becomes a symbol of respect towards each person and the love they share. It provides a proof in the society that they are committed to each other. Marriage creates the structure of family in communities, religions and whole society we live in.

Sometimes people lose faith in marriage seeing the different things in day to day life. Making a marriage successful needs lot of effort. How can we make a house a ‘Home’? When we like everything about that house and accept what it is, we start to like and love that house. We add furniture and features according to our interests. We maintain and repair whenever it is needed. We do different stuff to make it our ‘Home’. Just like that, lot of effort is needed to make a marriage successful. Love, mutual respect, forgiveness and understanding are needed constantly. Then only that relationship will be the ‘home’ for individuals. Creating that ‘home’ is in the hands of individuals. Then only it will be a long lasting relation.

‘Marriage’ is not the problem in relationships and marriages when they fall apart. ‘Marriage’ is significant for individuals as well as society.

 
 
  1. Manu Kurup

    March 21, 2012 at 2:34 am

    Thanks for the link on FB.
    Couldn’t agree with some things :),
    Since I am sort of against ‘marriage’ as an inevitable custom… somehow not very happy ‘convincing’ the society through rituals and show offs. Wouldn’t marriage be simpler if it was decided between two individuals and not through paper works? Because as someone said paperworks could lead to more paper works 🙂
    Only if people could call ‘long lasting understanding and mutual trust between individuals’ as marriage, things would be so much simpler. 🙂
    nice post.

     
  2. Daisy V-Spilker

    March 31, 2012 at 12:51 am

    Manu- Thanks for expressing what you think. I agree this- “Marriage must be decided between two individuals”.

    You said-“Only if people could call ‘long lasting understanding and mutual trust between individuals’ as marriage” – isn’t that we are doing through rituals and paperwork? Go through any ritual-find the meaning- you will see that is what they are trying to say.

    Then paper works- look in nature…most of it have a definite shape too. When there is understanding between two countries, they make it an agreement and sign it to preserve it. When you travel between countries, you need to have a passport to show you belong to this or that country. Everywhere else we can have regulations and paper works…. why not in life?
    Is it because we don’t want to discipline ourselves or is it because we think that is freedom?

     
  3. Manu S. Kurup

    March 31, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I agree with you that all this ‘paper-work’ is needed in life. As part of the creatuion of several identities, we ourselves create these notions. I might start sounding like an anarchist at some point of time. But, without thinking about the politics between two individuals, is it essential to define a ‘mutual acceptance, admiration, respect and even more love’ through a sheet of paper? Is it even possible to define such a thing? Yeah… agreed that we have been doing that for centuries with the help of stamp papers, priests, Society and in most cases, God him(her)self. Where are these witnesses when marriages break apart and individuals get rifted? So, my question is, why don’t we try the opposite also? why don’t people who love each other, continue doing it without thumb printing a paper… it could be freedom, it could be equally divine and metaphysical as the other method.. [:)]

     
  4. Daisy V-Spilker

    April 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Manu-Good thinking. Let me clarify one thing. In this article, I didn’t say that staying together without marriage is wrong. If people feel to live without paper works, they are free to do so- who says they cannot? It is a choice. There are people who think marriage is what makes relationship break. What I am trying to say is- why marriage is significant in a structured society. It is not ‘marriage’ what makes relationships or marriages fall apart, but individuals itself.

    “Where are these witnesses when marriages break apart and individuals get rifted?” Yes- that is where these paperwork and rituals can help. With rituals and paperwork- two individuals are agreeing that they are making a serious commitment. It is a process to get divorce through court. If it is known to society-means people or religious way- they all try to help them by talking, counseling…etc.

    It is individuals who must define ‘mutual acceptance, admiration, respect and love’ between them…nothing/no one else. If they don’t have that, they should never marry. Yes, in our society we ‘term’ relations with different words. If we are an ’employee’, we sign a paperwork agreeing all the policies of that organization which shows our relationship with that organization. If we don’t agree with their policies, don’t be an employee of that organization. Just like that- ‘Marriage’ too.

     
  5. Mariela

    June 8, 2012 at 3:31 am

    We often find ourselves in a dlemia with intimacy Problems in Marraige as well as relationships. Intimacy isn’t just about sex eventhough it’s important in both a relationship an marrraige it help enhance your feelings toward your mate. After transforming from dating to marraige it vital to a relationship that nothing change from the first moment you meet. things such as enjoying a romantic moonlight stroll,a walk on the trails, a afternoon movie, finishing each other sentences. The Small things are the most important ones an plays the bigger role of Intimacy an if you stop doing those small things that’s when problem start popping up which you cant seems to figure out why this is happening or what’s wrong Honey. Do what you surpose to do the first time an maybe this wouldn’t become a bigger issue that could’ve been avoided.

     
  6. mike

    June 20, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    marriage is asigh of respect